


Mating Calls

by MissSusanVance



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Christmas smut adjacent, F/M, Married Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 02:13:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13113798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissSusanVance/pseuds/MissSusanVance
Summary: The annual BaraCorp tennis tournament is always interesting, as much for the matches as for the mystery of the Christmas lovebirds.  Every year they fly south to the Arbor...who could they be?





	Mating Calls

**Author's Note:**

> This is my contribution to the Stansa Christmas fic extravaganza. Thanks to Your Tommy Ginger and Eilit for setting up this collection, and to everyone who contributed!

The early morning sunrise glittered over the blue waters of the southern sea. From her seat at the table in the breakfast nook, Sansa had a sweeping view of the beach and the water beyond. These surroundings were certainly different from those of Christmases before she had married Stannis. In her single days, she’d always spent the holiday in Winterfell with her family. The sprawling house was decorated with pine swags and wreaths indoors and out, while multiple Christmas trees, one for each Stark child, adorned the warm inviting rooms. Her mother had always gone all out for the holiday, hosting several parties for the neighbors, baking mounds of cookies, and having lots of children friendly activities for her brood. When Sansa and her siblings were little, Cat had even gotten her stolid, somber husband to dress up as Santa Claus to surprise them. 

Sansa would never trade the memories of those sweet days for anything; but there was definitely something to be said for beginning the holiday week on a beautiful island like the Arbor, at the Baratheon family vacation compound. There were several different buildings scattered around the estate; they were called bungalows but they were more like little mansions. The one she and Stannis were staying in had good views of the ocean, but wasn’t on the beach like Robert and Cersei’s was. It backed up to a lake, which had a little island in the middle. 

 

It was a very pretty setting. The surrounding trees and the distance between the buildings gave the impression that their house was far away from civilization, but they were only a little way from the clubhouse and the tennis court. She and Stannis had visited the island a few days ago, and had spent a bit more time there than they’d anticipated. She’d come out of the little stand of trees picking leaves out of her hair, as Stannis surreptitiously adjusted his trousers, after making use of a comfortable looking spot for a quickie. There had also been the laundry room, and the back seat of the car...there were all sorts of places to catch a moment alone. 

And of course there was CERTAINLY something to be said for waking up next to her handsome husband, who was currently sitting across from her reading the daily paper. He looked so serious, but Sansa could remember the night before, when he’d shouted her name in pleasure, his face had been contorted with passion. She smiled to herself; she was sure she’d looked the same way. There was something about the combination of this beautiful island and Christmas that made her especially...frisky. The beautiful setting, their lovely house with its spacious bedroom and huge windows overlooking the lake, all contributed to her mood. Sansa lifted her foot and slid her toes up the length of Stannis’s shin. He jumped, and a blush began working its way up his neck. “Already? I thought you were...satisfied last night. At least it sounded like it.”

She smiled at his blush; he was adorable. “Of course I was. I’m just trying to take advantage of all this privacy. You know it won’t be like this when we go to Winterfell in a few days.” 

Stannis grunted; he knew very well what a circus Christmas with the Starks was. But it was important to Sansa to go, therefore it was important to him. 

The annual holiday was held at the Baratheon family compound. Even before his marriage to Sansa Stannis had put in an appearance, due to the tennis tournament held on the island. It was sponsored by BaraCorp, and as COO it was his duty to at least put in a token appearance. Still, neither he nor Sansa felt the need to linger at every match of the the multi day tournament. After showing up for the first day, they both made themselves scarce. There were many more enjoyable ways for the two of them to occupy their days.

The annual tennis playoff was Cersei and Robert’s baby. The Lannisters were the ones who negotiated the television crews and prizes that would draw the big name athletes. BaraCorp was the group that awarded the prize money. The tournament had become a tradition since Robert and Cersei were married. For tennis players, not only did they get to hone their skills against comparable talent and possibly take home a large cash prize, they got an all expenses paid vacation to a beautiful island, when most of the country was chilly or snow covered. After their marriage, Stannis and Sansa came for the week before Christmas, afterwards flying to Winterfell for Christmas Eve and staying through New Years. 

“Are you through with the paper? I want to read it.” 

Stannis nodded and handed it to her. While she was getting settled into the front page article, Stannis turned on the TV that was hung on a wall of the breakfast nook. Sansa didn’t pay any attention for a while; that is, until she hear her husband make an odd, strangled noise. She looked up to see his face white as a sheet, his eyes wide. 

“What is it?” she gasped. “What happened?”

Stannis didn’t seem able to reply; he just gestured wildly at the TV. Sansa turned to look. It seemed to be ESPN. A blond male announcer was speaking.

“Well, we certainly had a good time at the annual BaraCorp tennis tournament last night, didn’t we?” The reporter seemed to be trying to suppress a laugh. “Though some of us had a better time than others!” Here he lost his battle and started to giggle. “This event wouldn’t be the same without the annual appearance of our lovebirds. It seems like they’ve flown down here to the Arbor for the winter again!” 

The scene changed to a picture of the tennis court. Two players were batting the ball back and forth; suddenly, sounds other than the thwack of the racket hitting the ball and the shouts of the players were heard. It was obvious to all just what the sounds were. 

“Oh-oh-oh gods…!” A woman’s voice

“Like that? Is that good, baby?” Now a man’s.

“Harder!” The woman cried.

The camera panned over the crowd as the sounds went on. It stopped on Cersei and Robert. Robert was laughing loudly, his head thrown back and tears of mirth sliding down his cheeks. Cersei sat beside him, stone faced but her eyes had monsters in them. Her twin Jaime had his hand over his mouth and was trying to keep his shoulders from shaking with laughter, but the younger brother Tyrion had no such scruples; he was laughing as openly as his good brother. One of the tennis players, who had stopped their match when the sounds became audible, picked up the ball and swatted it in the direction of the lake beside the court. “It can’t be that good!” He shouted. The crowd roared with laughter. 

The sounds were coming to a crescendo. “Oh, it’s so good! There, right there! Oh-oh- Stannis!”

“Fuck, Sansa!”

The spectators instantly fell silent. 

 

You could hear a pin drop on the court; slowly, all together, the eyes of the crowd gathered in the stands turned to Robert and Cersei. Cersei suddenly stood from her seat and swept off the court. Her twin followed her. Robert looked gobsmacked; suddenly he shouted, “Hot damn! So he’s a Baratheon after all!” Then with another shout of laughter he left the court. 

The picture changed back to the reporter. “Well, folks we finally learned the identity of the tennis match lovebirds. We’ve been hearing them for three years now but this is the first time names were mentioned; must be due to that lake by the tennis court. They say sound travels very easily over water. I don’t know Stannis Baratheon personally, but seems like there’s more than meets the eye. I guess that goes to show never judge a book by its cover...it sounds like Mr. and Mrs Baratheon are VERY happily married!” The announcer couldn’t suppress it any longer, throwing back his head and laughing loud and long. “Now back to Ellen at the studio!”

 

“So we finally found out who was making all that noise all these years!”

Stannis and Sansa jumped; Robert had come into the house, as he usually did to avoid the macrobiotic breakfast served at Cersei’s table. “You know I’ve been dying to know just who the stud was who was making his lady so happy. Gods know I NEVER would’ve suspected you, Stannis!” Robert flopped into a chair and helped himself to some of the waffles Sansa had made. “You know,” he continued as he poured half a jar of syrup over his plate, “Cersei has been dying to know just who the lovebirds were these past years, but we’ve never heard any names before. Just, you know, the sounds,” Robert sniggered.

“You mean…” Sansa began.

“This has been going on every year since we were married? The tennis spectators have been hearing-“ choked Stannis.

“Oh, yeah, absolutely,” cried Robert. “You two are famous down here. Everybody takes bets on if the lovebirds will be coming back this year, what day we’ll first hear them, how loud they’ll be-“ 

“We get the picture, Robert,” Stannis hissed. 

Robert stuffed a forkful of waffle into his mouth. “Just so you know, the harpy’s on the warpath,” he said around his mega mouthful. “I’d avoid our place until all’s quiet on the western front if you know what I mean. But I have to hand it to you, Stannis,” he continued, “I take back everything I said yesterday about you being a cold fish in the sack. Anybody who can keep his wife as happy as you do,” here Robert winked at Sansa, “Is no cold fish!” 

Stannis rested his head in his hands a moment. He stood from the table with a sigh. “I’ll call Cersei and apologize. This needs to be dealt with as soon as possible.” 

“Of course,” said Sansa. “I’ll see you in a bit.” Stannis glanced between his wife and his brother doubtfully for a moment. Robert waved him off. “Go on, I’ll keep Sansa company.” Stannis looked to her for confirmation and, at her nod, left the breakfast nook headed towards the living room.

As Sansa listened to Robert’s chatter with half an ear, she allowed herself a small satisfied smile. She’d grown mighty tired of the way his older brother was always talking down to Stannis; impugning his prowess in bed had been the last straw. Sansa had learned the prior year that she and her husband could be heard when they made love in their bedroom overlooking the lake. At first she’d been horrified; but after she let the idea sit a few days, she found being heard by the crowd sort of excited her, and she’d let the situation stand as it was. Stannis hadn’t known, of course, until just now. Her husband’s reputation as a stick in the mud didn’t bother her because she knew the truth, but it sometimes bothered him, especially when Robert got obnoxious. 

Sansa looked out over the ocean and sipped her coffee; she had a feeling Stannis’s stick in mud reputation had been laid to rest for good.

**Author's Note:**

> This story’s based on an actual news clip I saw...yes it really happened!


End file.
